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Summer rain.

Most people who know me are very aware of two things: 1) I absolutely love the rain, and 2) I loathe summer. We’re talking pure, unadulterated hatred.

I can bear it for a very short while if I’m in the water. But that’s it. By July 5th, I’m 100% done with the entire miserable season, even though logically I know we have at least two months of heat left and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. I can’t begin to properly describe how much I despise summer & being hot. It’s one of the most wretched feelings. It makes me so…furious. Irate. Resentful. I don’t even want to move, because once I get hot, it takes ages for me cool down.

So you can imagine the pure & utter joy that overcame me yesterday when, in July, in Oklahoma, the temperature dropped into the upper 60s and it rained. It rained practically all day and all night.

And I was in heaven.6155201ee27235197801ebc5a0a4d403

I desperately wanted to take off work yesterday afternoon, just so I could go home and enjoy a few extra hours of it. But that wasn’t in the cards. When I did get home, I opened every door and every window, so that the cool breeze and the sounds & smells of the rain filled my house. I even went outside and stood in the rain for a while. It put me in such a good mood that I actually cleaned my house (I despise cleaning), and dreamed of pumpkins patches & apple orchards last night.

It’s still cooler and cloudy and a little rainy today, and I know it won’t last. But for couple of days, in the middle of the dreaded Oklahoma summer, I got a glimpse of my favorite season: autumn. I hope & pray fall will show up early this year…

Hey, a girl can dream.

Denial.

When the world around me doesn’t fit, when it doesn’t satisfy, I retreat to one of the countless worlds inside my head. There, things are as they should be. That’s not to say they are perfect – that would be boring. And they aren’t without adversity, either. But they offer a satisfaction with life that I can’t often find in the real world.

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I search for it. Constantly. And I find glimpses of it here and there. But most of the time, it eludes me. And after a while, my body, my mind, my soul needs respite somewhere I feel truly free. Is this denial? Maybe so. But I refuse to accept a lackluster reality. So I will keep searching. And until I find whatever it is I’m looking for, I will retreat into the worlds inside my head & be free.

QOTD: ‘Be not the slave…’

Ralph Waldo Emerson (image via BLDG 25 | Free People Blog)